Someone met me recently and said, “I find it difficult to listen to my wife; she speaks so much, most of the time, I don’t understand what she is saying. I him, “Listening to your wife is like reading the terms and conditions of a freeware you want to download from the internet. It is long, and you don’t understand much, but still you click on agree.” In the same way, to build a rapport with your wife, just agree, and when she calms down try to discuss. Next time, when you find your spouse giving a long lecture, and you need to convince her, do not be in a hurry. Wait for an opportunity to explain your point of view.
We should learn the art of handling difficulties gracefully. There is no one way to handle difficulties. We have to be alert and let the purity of alertness and goodness to guide you in handling difficult situations. We have to be alert to the fact that our past knowledge is trapping us often. At the same time, we have to transform gracefully. Our past should be a point of reference for increased awareness, rather than a block.
Our past knowledge, conclusions, opinions, hurts; upset etcetera influences our listening and thinking. Our unconscious is leading our life mechanically. So let us be alert to these facts. When we are alert, we become conscious of our unconscious and that enables us to lead a better life instead of bitter life.
Are you conscious to the fact that one is unconscious to oneself? You say this is mine; my wife is mine, my religion is mine, my community mine, my caste is mine, my family is mine. But, if you are alert and thus conscious, you will realize that all that you have said as mine is not yours. You are riding on a dream. What you think is mine is not in the true sense yours. You are using them for your need in a remarkably subtle sense. You say your son is mine, for you have a dream that he will do this and that to you. But, your son has also a dream and he feels this or that will make him complete. So, one is using the other for fulfilling one’s dream, and in that sense wants others to serve him. All things and persons can be snatched away from you, and what is capable of being snatched away is not yours. What cannot be snatched away from you is your consciousness. Your body is given to you by your parents. Your knowledge is given to you by books etcetera. What is given to you is certainly not yours for it can be snatched away from you.
Only our consciousness is intrinsically ours, and in the true sense, we are not unaware what this consciousness is. We are unconscious of our consciousness. When we are dependent on the things that can be snatched away, and when it is snatched away by the period of time, we feel cheated and betrayed. It is our error in understanding.
If one understands that all things are capable of being snatched one will not depend on it emotionally. Hence emotions will have clarity & is free. You will be a giver of life, and not a beggar of life. You will put your energy in understanding yourself, and when you understand yourself as consciousness, you will realize this consciousness, which is your nature, is fullness and completeness. With fullness when you live life, your life will be a movement of joy and not wanting joy.