Best way to build self confidence

This piece of writing is about how to build self confidence by getting rid of jealousy. One day a boy finds himself being low on self confidence as he always stands second in the class. He blames himself — why can’t I be first in the class? Whenever he looks at who has stood first, he feels pathetic and finds himself envious of him. He feels shy to share his problem and goes to pray. In the prayer room he finds the photo of the Indian sage Dattatreya, a young boy who had 24 gurus. In the photo, he has dogs around him, which were one of the masters of the sage. A light of understanding fills his mind. “A dog is so grateful to the master. It has the capacity to be happy with its master. The dog is so loyal and so happy with the master. Look at me — I am not happy with my master, the good lord. The dog can think less but be happier. I can think more and still am so pathetic. How has my thinking really helped me?” From that moment he starts being grateful for life and not jealous of others.

Jealousy underestimates what we possess and gets lost in what others possess. Understand that jealousy provides the mud for failure to throw on us and make us unambitious. Jealousy provides us the ignorance to define our failure by looking at someone’s success.

Apart from the above explanation, what is jealousy and how does it function? How is youth affected by it?

The moment you define your failure by looking at someone’s success, understand that comparison has entered your mind. Jealousy is nothing but comparisons. It is not wrong to compare, but it is wrong to whip and hurt ourselves with comparison. See this distinction. By comparing, if you can appreciate the other and inspire yourself from the other, then such a comparison is good. But we do the opposite.

You look at someone who is better looking than you and feel bitter. You look at someone who has scored better than you and feels bitter. You look at someone who has a car and you don’t have one and feel bitter. The more this bitterness increases, an inner volcano will invalidate what you already possess. This will make you feel bad instead of feeling good. As I told you, one of the legs of self-confidence is feeling good. And self-confidence is the foundation to being successful.

What are the other pillars to build self-confidence?

One is “feeling good” which I have already explained in the previous chapter. The other is “taking responsibility” and when responsibility is taken with accountability, you become a good leader. For example, if you want to be self-confident in being a good orator, then you should feel good, and secondly, take the responsibility to join a public speaking program.

Being responsible will make you realize that without accountability, the word responsibility is meaningless.

So take projects and be responsible and accountable and in the process, just feel good that you have the project with you. This will slowly build leadership quality in you. This slow build-up will be a great asset in your work front in the future.

What is the third pillar of success?

The third pillar is developing skills. If you want to become a public speaker, you need to develop skill sets like pace, pause, pitch, punctuation, and voice modulation. You should develop the skill of multiple close and open statements. This is one example of developing skills. 

the best way to build self-confidence as I have unfolded above. Then with self-confidence, you will confidently march towards your goal. Your goal then will inspire you and not overpower you.

Jealousy is part of possessiveness. Learn slowly to develop in your own way not to be possessive for, in the end, even your own body is something you have to leave at the time of death.

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